Chronic Twilight Obsession Disorder
by Lady Of The Sphinx
Summary: A Disease is spreading throughout the world! drabble series.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : Edward is cute, Jasper is hot, Stephenie owns Twilight, and I, sadly do not.**

******This is a repost, did a bit of editing. I'm an going to try and revive my writing. likely hood of succeeding...slim.**

******Dedicated to all my twilight obsessed friends, ya'll know who you are! ;)**

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**THIS IS A WARNING TO ALL CIVILIANS!**

**YOU MAY BE AT RISK!**

A new disease is spreading across the country and the globe as we speak. Everywhere people are falling victim to what experts are now calling** Chronic Twilight Obsession Disorder! **This disease is extremely contagious and while it is not life threatening, experts are saying it may cause victims - who range from early teens and up- to receive funny looks, to have violent fits of passion, anger, excitement or distress, paranoia and _may even cause the victims to become mindless fangirls/fanboys._ Everyone must take extreme caution! The following is a list of identified symptoms:

1) You compare every super hot guy you see to Edward.

2) You compare every really buff guy to Emmett

3) Jasper is your favorite when it comes to sensitivity

4) When you smell strawberry shampoo, you think of Bella.

5) Every time you pass a Home Depot you think of Esme.

6) When you take personality quizzes involving super natural beings you get upset if you get something other than Vampire/Werewolf.

7) You go to hospitals simply to see if you can find Carlisle.

8) You read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse on a daily basis.

9) You've taken a sudden liking to Debussy.

10) Or just Claire De Lune.

11) Your friends suffer from hearing you ramble on about Twilight, New Moon Or Eclipse

12) You have forced all you friends to read Twilight.

13) And they are all eternally grateful and worship the ground you stand on.

14) You are to blame for the sudden popularity of Twilight at your school.(But you're not in trouble)

15) You are the reason they put the Twilight series in your school library.

16) The Librarian got sick of you asking her opinion on the series.

17) The background on your computer has something to do with twilight, vampires and/or werewolves.(like mine hehehehe)

18) You have a list of possible vampire gifts you would have, if you were a vampire.

19) Your dream car is a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo.

20)Or an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish ( Edward's special occasion car, my personal fav)

21) You've asked your parents at lest once if you can move to Forks.

22) The principle college you applied for is Dartmouth.

23) All your school work is signed under the name Mrs. Cullen.

24) Said Cullen changes daily.

25) There is a shrine to the Twilight series in your closet. (You never know what crazed fans will do…)

26) You check SM's website everyday.

27)or the Twilight Lexicon

28) You are trying to get your boyfriend to change his name to Edward.

29) Or Jasper.

30) Or Emmett.

31)In an effort to make your boyfriend change his name, you have started calling him by the Twilight related name of you're choosing.

32)Your boy friend's ID on your cell phone is vampire/werewolf of your choosing.

33) On your list of traits for your dream guy you have put Gold eyes.

34) And/Or mind reading.

35)Y our best friend and you get in to fights over whose better: Edward or Jacob.

36) you have concluded that she is crazy

37) You have a list of songs on your ipod that remind you in someway of Twilight.

38) You have several lists of songs on you ipod that remind you of the books and/or characters.

39) You use quotes from Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipseon a daily basis.

40) You have tried to talk your parents into buying you a motorcycle.

41)When you go to fancy restaurants you ask for cougar specifically.

42) You curse(insert movie company here) for being slow with making the movie

43) You are counting the hours until Breaking Dawn is released

44) You count the hours until the movie is in theaters.

45) You have had at lest one dream involving the characters of Twilight.(raises hand)

46) You and your friends have research all the actors in the movie.

47) Before they released the casting your friends and you were having arguments on who would be best for each part.

48) You have named your dog after a werewolf in the series.

49) You have named you cat after a vampire in the series

50) Or vice-versa.

51) Makes sense since they are all ways fighting.

53) You have a sudden obsession with shopping

54) You have a sudden obsession with cars.

55) You have recently decided to be a doctor despite your fainting at the sight of blood.

56) This website is one of your regular haunts.

57) You are a member on this website.

58) You have written at lest one fanfic involving this series.

59) You are reading this crazy vampire obsessed girl's writing.

**Remember please be careful and report any possible cases of Chronic Twilight Obsession Disorder to the local ****Authorities **


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: Nope still don't own...**

Thank you for all the lovely reviews. The stories are awesome. suggestions are welcome!

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**ATTENTION! **

**HERE IS AN UPDATED LIST OF POSSIBLE SYMPTOMS OF CHRONIC TWILIGHT OBSESSION DISORDER!**

**REMEMBER PROCEED WITH CAUTION!**

1) You have decided to name one of you kids after a character.

2) You can not decide which one.

3) You have decided to have enough kids to name after all the main characters

4) You've decided that your favorite male name now is Edward.

5) Or Jasper

6)Or Emmett

7) Or Jacob.

8) Or Carlisle

9) Your favorite girl name is Rosalie.

10) Your friends and you have discussed the advantages and drawbacks of being a vampire.

11) Same goes for werewolves.

12) And you still can't decide which is better.

13) You frequent the myspace twilight page(s).

14) You search constantly for proof of vampires

15) or werewolves

16) You have started a Twilight series fan club at your school.

17) You are president of said club

19) Your clubs main objective is too introduce Twilight to those crazy people who have not read it.

20) You use your tutorial period to look at stories on this website.( raises hand)

21) You have used free time in any class room you look up stories on this website( raises hand)

22) You begged your Spanish teacher to let you look up SM's webpage so you could prove a point to your friend. (raises hand)

23) And she let you.

24) And proved your self right to your friend.(hahahaha)

25) You have attempted to do fan art at lest once.

26) or poetry( raises hand)

27) You have dragged your parents to the book store on a family vacation to buy a book of the Twilight series. (Raises hand, it was Eclipse what can I say?)

28) Your parents have had to use force to drag you away from said series while on vacation.

29) You video taped SM's interview on TV.

30) You had a fit when you realized that SM had an interview and didn't know it,

31) You frequent the 's discussions on the Twilight series simply to discuss the books with some one other than your friends.

32) You go to every movie sight known to man to find anything relating to the movie.

33) You are in a fight with your best friend over whether the rumors about the actor playing Jacob are true.

34) You two are currently not speaking to each other.

35) You are currently bugging everyone on student counsel to make this year's prom an Eclipse prom.

36) You went to the book store simply to read the special edition of New Moon and dissect the first chapter of Eclipse page by page.

37) You are planning to go to the local bookstore to read the special edition of Eclipse and dissect the first chapter of Breaking Dawn page by page.

39) You have been banned from the library because the Liberian is absolutely sick of you asking about the series.

40) You have been banned from ever checking out the books again.

41) You had checked them out so many times.

42) You are sometimes referred to as the Twilight Guru

43) Or maybe your friends always come to you if they want to know something about the movie, Breaking Dawn ,etc

44) You start questioning thinks such as: what would have happened if Emmett was there.

45) The result is the fanfic you are currently working on.

46) Your parents have yelled at you at lest once to "put that book down and do…"

47) You have gotten in trouble at school for reading the series while you were suppose to listen to your science teacher.(guilty again)

48) You have gotten a detention from reading a book from said series while in class.

49) They don't know a good book when they see one.

50) You have tried to talk your friends in to going cliff diving.

51) When you listen to your music you wonder whether or not, Edward would listen to it.

52) When you go shopping you wonder if Alice would like this or that shirt.

53) When you look at cars you wonder if Rosalie or Edward would like it better.

54) You have decided to be an interior designer like Esme.

55) You drive your mom crazy trying convince her to remodel the kitchen.

56) When you go to other towns/cities you look for houses that look like your image of the Cullen house.

57) Or Bella's

58) You and your friends go crazy when you see when you see a Volvo.

59) Or a Rabbit( like Jacobs)

60) You've decided to get a truck like Bella's

61) You are having a hard time finding one in your price range.

62) Your brother officially thinks you are obsessed

63) Your sister doesn't think you're obsessed because she has read Twilight and knows what it's all about.

64) Your parents officially think you are obsessed.

65) Your friends officially think you are obsessed.( the ones who haven't read Twilight yet)

66) Most importantly though, your _Boyfriend_ officially thinks your obsessed


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS IS UPDATED LIST OF THE ADVANCED FORM OF CHRONIC TWILIGHT OBSESSION DISORDER! REPEAT THIS IS AN ADVANCE FORM OF THE DISEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL FOLLOW ALL YOUR THERAPIST INSTRUCTIONS AND... EDWARD IS THAT YOU? EDWARD? OH NO I HAVE IT! EDWARD? REMAIN CALM AND EDWARD? DOCTOR CULLEN! HELP ME!**

1) When you hear boys talk about Twilight, the tone is either disgust or envy.

2) Your boyfriend hates it when you bring up Taylor Lautner.

3) He also hates it when you bring up Robert Pattinson.

4) The only reason your boyfriend watches twilight with you is because of the action scenes and the cars.

5) Or the motorcycles.

6) Or Rosalie.

7) Or Alice.

8) You dragged to parent to the bookstore to get Breaking Dawn.

9) You stood inline for four hours to get breaking dawn.

10) You stood in line for five hours to see Twilight when it came out in theatres.

11) Same with New Moon.

12) You already have a spot for Eclipse at the movie theatre.

13) You got pissed when you read the negative reviews for Breaking Dawn. (Raises hand)

14) You wanted to go and throttle the person who posted Midnight Sun illegally. (Raises hand)

15) You refuse to read the chapters of Midnight Sun until you receive word that SM will or will not publish Midnight Sun. (raises hand)

16) You have gotten into discussions about the books and or movies with customers at work.

17) You have read the books while at work.

18) You have talked with random people at random places about the books/movies.

19) Your have made a list of possible powers you would have as a vampire.

20) You dragged your boyfriend to the bookstore to buy **T****he Short Second Life of****Bree Tanner.**

21) You get mad at the people bashing the actors for not portraying the character to their standards.

22) You are currently trying to wean yourself from the Twilight series.

23) And it's not working.

24) Your trying to wean your mom sister bestie or girlfriend from the series.

25) And its not working

26) You were first in line to get the graphic novel.

27) And you take better care of it than your fish

28) Or the real novel.

29) Twilight has ruined all future reading for you.

30) Your have a desire to learn the piano.

31) You have a desire to study to learn all about the civil war.

32) You want to be a mechanic like Rosalie.

33) You are going to dress up as one of the characters for Halloween.

34) You have a twilight themed bed set.

35) You have bought the dolls of the characters.

36) You have rearranged your room to resembled Edward's.

37) Or Bella's.

38) Everything you know about cars you learned from twilight.

39) You spend the majority of your time reading fanfics.

40) You spend the majority of your time re reading the books.

41) You have memorized the outtakes and deleted scenes.

42) You cried at the end of Breaking Dawn.

43) You eat mushroom ravioli all the time.

44) You have begged your mom to go to Italy for your family vacation.

45) You have a sudden fear of ballet studios.

46) And back alleys.

47) You have cut outs from magazine of the twilight actors in your notebook.

48) You have written I love Edward Cullen in said notebook.

49) Or I love Jasper.

50) Or I love Jacob.

51) You have created the Cullens, Swans and the Blacks on the Sims.

52) When you hear voices in your head, you ask "Is that you Edward?"

53) Your friends have to remind you that the books are fictions.

54) You spend hours in front of the mirror practicing your "Dazzling skills".

55) You spend hours in front of the mirror practicing your vampire growl.

56) You and your friends have designed your own Twilight themed t-shirts.

57) You have named your car/truck after one of the characters.

58) You want to go to Phoenix AZ and accidentally(stalk) run into SM.

59) You have a sudden interest in Jane Austen, Emily Bronte and Shakespeare.

60) You walk into Science class hoping that Edward will be your lab partner.

61) You argue with your parent that you do not want to get a tan this summer and want keep you winter paleness, despite them demanding you get out of the house.

62) You have begged your parents to let you get colored contacts to your eyes can be topaz.

63) You have actually tried to do the trick that Edward did with the apple.

64) You can read the books in less than four hours.

65) You know the exact number of pages in all the books, graphical novel and the Bree Tanner novella.

66) You will only read books now that have a character named Edward, Jasper, Bella, etc.

67) You have joined "Twi-Hards Anonymous" at the insistence of your therapist, your parents and everyone you know who has not read the books.

68) Yes your parents made you go to a therapist to help you with your "Twilight Obsession" that was apparently "unhealthy."

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**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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